Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Dietary Righteousness

I have Type II diabetes. After a long period of gradually increasing pills and shots, I have begun using an insulin pump. This delivers quick-acting insulin in small doses around the clock, mimicking the action of the pancreas.

With the pump, there is an associated Palm app to calculate the extra doses for meals, but Palm Pilots are no longer made: you get a Palm-based phone instead. I don't need another device to lug around; I have a perfectly good (better, in fact) iPhone app for counting carbs (CarbsControl). The only thing it lacks is the calculation function to convert grams of carbs into units of insulin. The dosage must be tailored to the individual, but given the factor and the formula I can calculate it myself.

So I'm at the doctor's office. In the break room, actually, discussing carb counting with a traveling specialist from the insulin pump folks. I demonstrated the iPhone app. A nurse/staffer comes in and grabs a bagel with a schmear from the bag someone brought, and mentions how she usually eats only whole grains. The specialist volunteers that I could tell her how many carbs were in the bagel. I obligingly look it up: one Dunkin' Donuts plain bagel (no cream cheese): 63g carbs, 320 calories.


The nurse goes into a spiel as to how she just made pancakes for her children for breakfast: quinoa with blueberries and chocolate chips. Quinoa is high in protein, has all the essential amino acids, etc. etc. Mixed with frozen organic blueberries, Ghirardelli dark chocolate, and of course her home-made pancake batter: organic flour and aluminum-free baking soda, eggs from her own free-range chickens, flax seed-- I interject, her kids will never be out of the bathroom; oh, no, you get used to it, she says, and continues. You make a big batch and freeze it, see, so it doesn't take long to prepare...

She has been detailing this recipe for five minutes. My eyes are glazing over, and hers are glowing in dietary righteousness. She doesn't like to eat too much meat, but bought a side of beef in collaboration with a few friends-- she never gets red meat from the grocery store. Her kids, I comment, will be saying, "Hot dog? What's that?" and the nurse exclaims, "Oh, they've never had a hot dog. One had a turkey dog once, but the younger one, two and a half and never had a hot dog." She herself is 40, she told us. I said, "You're going to eat right, organic, whole-grain, and walk out the door and get hit by a bus. Just for the record, for breakfast I have a bowl of low-sugar instant oatmeal, that I eat standing at the sink." That prompted the nurse: "Oh, the regular oatmeal is better, and takes just as long to make: I add agave syrup because it has a low glycemic index, and some walnuts, and..."

The specialist and I went back to our carb-counting.